Wednesday, September 7, 2016

IWSG: A Geriatric Snail & The Stick

a really good question of its member this month:

How do you find the time to write in your busy day?

Umm ... I often don't or won't.

And then the guilt sets in.

I'm one of those people brought up in a house where A's in school were expected. A B meant there was something wrong, that I wasn't trying hard enough. 

Almost 50 years later, and the story's still the same. If I don't produce at least one novel a year (replete with enthusiastic fanfare, rave reviews, and high sales), I must be slacking.  Others do it.  Heck, one of my CPs is putting out 4+ novels and novellas a year.  But I only pubbed one book in 2013 and now one in 2016. One book every 3 years? What the heck is wrong with me?!

I've grown very adept at hitting myself with the You're-Not-Good-Enough stick because I:

1) Write too slowly. 
2) Don't have a zillion awesome novel ideas waiting in the wings to tackle next.
3) Have several times written 30k of a book before trunking it because it's "Not good enough" and starting on something new.
4) Can have a "feeling" there's something wrong with the plot/characterizations in an ms and stop writing for months while I try to figure out the problem.  (I don't believe in "Just write it now and fix it later.")
5)  I just plain lose enthusiasm and eat junk food and watch TV instead of writing.

Has beating myself with the You're-Not-Good-Enough stick produced results?  

No.  I don't write any faster.  In fact, it sometimes it leads to depression and then the writing stops altogether.

This year I finally accepted it.  Yes, I write at the pace of a geriatric snail.  Yes, I sometimes lose the "feeling" and just stop.  Yes, I'm prone to confusion and second-guessing myself, thereby wasting more time.

But I have good points too... My plots are tight and exciting. I write original ideas. My characters are truly unique. So when I do finally get something written, I know I've done my best and I'm really proud of it!

I am what I am.

I refuse to beat myself up anymore.  In fact, I'm fully owning both my good and bad points, dressing them up in a tutu, and parading them around the town square!!

This is me, like it or not.
Books get written when they get written
and not before.
I will not compare myself with others--
I'm proud I'm the weirdo in the pink tutu.

If you beat yourself with the stick or worry too much, 
I hope you'll stop. 
Instead, be proud of the truly unique writer you are!

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This is a post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group, the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. It exists so the community of blogging writers can share and support each other, blog-hopping to cheerlead and commiserate. To find out more, visit: Insecure Writer's Support Group. Plus, check out the IWSG Website for lots of helpful info and links.
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