IWSG: 20 Funny Similes

We work so hard to try to make our writing perfect.  We slave over every word and sentence, and we second guess ourselves.  Lines that seemed fabulous one day, read like utter crap the next day.  And then it's back to pounding away at the keyboard, trying to find a better way to write it.

But no matter how bad you think your writing is -- it could NEVER be this bad!

20 Similes Written by High Schoolers 

1. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

2. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

3. She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can't sing worth a damn.

4. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

5. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

6. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

7. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

8. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

11. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

12. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

13. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

14. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

15. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

16. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

17. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

19. They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”

20. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.


 Which one made you laugh hardest?


This is a post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group, the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. It exists so the community of blogging writers can share and support each other, blog-hopping to cheerlead and commiserate. To find out more, visit: Insecure Writer's Support Group. Plus, check out the IWSG Website for lots of helpful info and links.

Similes via:
Huffington Post 
Eddie Snipes 
Ned Hardy